Getting antsy

Sometimes I read something, or my mind goes places, and I feel like I have been socked in the stomach. Generally with ache for all the poor orphans in the world, and with WANT, wanting to see my precious babies' faces, and then to hold them in my arms. Strap them on my chest, however they need to be held and loved! Then I get shaky and nervous and worried about not being able to love them enough, not having enough ME to go around for all the kids... It is such an emotional thing, and this will not change even years from now I am sure! I want to move forward, I long to see faces of our children, I long to give these children a Mommy, a Daddy, a family. I know that we will never be perfect parents, but I long for the opportunity to see what we can do (with God' help!) Just having a "stomach pains over the process" kind of day... I think the caffeine I had this morning is not helping!