Officially waiting

On Tuesday we went and signed the rest of the paperwork, and now we are officially waiting for a foster care placement! It is terrifying, if I must be honest. (I should be honest, since that is why I have a blog...) I am beyond excited, but really just have no idea what we are getting ready for. When we were talking to the social worker she said a few times "get ready!", and I though "get ready for WHAT?!" When we adopted we knew a bit of what to get ready for- a baby girl and little boy who didn't speak English but were going to be ours forever. Now we don't know what to prepare for, birth through 5, background, how long they will be here, or anything! We can't put clothes in a closet, prepare a room, or do anything. We just wait. And we could just wait for a long time. Or they could call in 5 minutes. The kids are excited, Everett and Avery especially (surprised by Everett, but he keeps asking about it, so we will see!). Our social worker mentioned that they may call soon to do some respite, and that can be TWO kids, so we must "prepare" for that as well. Some days in our family of five are uneventful and I think "sure, we can add another here and all be happy and successful!", and then there are days when they just fight fight fight, or need run here and there and help with homework and I have no patience and I think "I can't even give enough of myself to 5, what am I doing thinking I can handle another one?!" But I know that is Satan putting doubts in my mind!

I announced our intent on Facebook the day we were officially accepted, and received a lot of kindness. I just pray that when we have a child, the kindness continues! This was a comment I posted there, but is true, but one I also need to remind myself of.   The other question you may have is "Why in the heck do you want to add another child! Don't you already have 5?" It is not a question of wanting to add another child, but a question of "why should we put our selfish desires over the need of an innocent child when we have room in our hearts and in our home?" It is not a question for us...

Every time the phone rings now, I pause to see who it is. Trusting God big time on all this, and not easy!