Wearing

I understand the need for the mandated visitation schedule, but it is really wearing on me, mostly for the stress it puts on dear baby. When she was an infant it wasn't so much an issue, as she was unaware, but now she understands that she is being handed off frequently and she doesn't really like it. The system is messed up, but I think the workers are just doing the best they can and that is precisely what I am doing as well. I just hate the look of sadness in baby's eye when I hand her over, hate the tears that accompany being strapped in the car seat for another visit, and watching her drive away crying. It is a lot of mixed emotions with this fostering gig! We dearly love sweet baby G, but I hate all the visiting she must do with people who, to the best of my knowledge, will never get custody of her again. TPR can not happen soon enough so she can get some permanency.