Cut to the heart

Today I was going about the day, making granola for Scott and some pasta salad for this week's lunches. I had a new container of feta cheese that I couldn't get open, so silly me I used a knife to try to open it. I stabbed my finger. Not too badly, but it hurt, there was enough blood to make me feel light headed, and I started to cry. I didn't cry because it hurt, but it was just what I needed to break the crazy emotions deep inside my heart to spill out. Scott bandaged my finger for me (with a cute Strawberry shortcake band-aid and Neosporin:), and I went upstairs to get control of my emotions as I knew we had friends on their way, and I didn't need them to arrive with me sitting on the floor bleeding and crying!
But instead of gaining control of my few tears, I REALLY started to cry. I gave in to it and just let myself go, and next thing I know all three kids found me, and were hugging me, full of concern and love (well, Everett seemed oblivious to my blubbering, he was just yakking at me and expecting a coherent answer), But Avery especially was very concerned and said "Mommy, I have never seen you cry!" which really, besides a stray tear or two, she hasn't! Well, now they have, and they have held me and loved me which makes the floodgates open wider! I will talk to Avery later today about my tears, but at the time I said "I'm okay, it's just sometimes Mommies are sad, but I will be okay". They accepted it, and a few minutes later our friends arrived and Avery told the little girl "Mommy was crying". Ha ha! Oh well, if I can tell the world I am a basket case I guess she can, too!
Pray with me that these visas are issued soon! It is 2 weeks today that they started the investigation, and the time frame is 2-6 weeks. I am ready! Bring them HOME!
Add first day of school tomorrow (first day of my little Bennett starting a new school and riding a bus!), and it is bound to be quite a week...
Thank you fellow adoptive moms for understanding the crazy journey of emotions and love and yearning and fear.